Bride Hunt
At ho
me - Around evening time - Around the transparent dinning table - On the cast iron purple Cushion chair - Muting the TV
Mom Inquisitively “Shall we go have a bride hunting ceremony?”
I said lazily “Naah!!!! Not interested”
I suddenly, spiking up the enthu “But, if you are so bored, and need a time pass, OK”
[TIP: Women have compassion for women, utilize, exploit- use this as a technique: ‘time pass’, sounds like going for some window shopping] btw in ‘Reality’, time pass not encouraged!!! Kind of subtle insult.
Anyways, since then, no such request, an effective single dose medicine.
Basics
As far as my understanding goes today, we can avoid 80% of the problems and
responsibilities, if we don’t get ‘tied up’ legally by marriage. Though done with good intention, marriage has turned out to be one of the ugliest traps of the society to destroy the 'unique individuality' of a being. It is not a thing for crazy-free-souls. To start with, why should we get married with legal securities?? It just signifies doubt, rather than trust
, from the very beginning, for some it might be helplessness, for some culture conditioning, or fear of being alone, or hoping to find happiness through someone, rationalizations can just go on. Or maybe it’s security; if the so called love fades away, then sacrifices for 101 reasons and drag it forward. Have enough real life examples within and without, since it is not a good thing to discuss somebody’s private matters openly and confidentiality factor, not elaborating on it, and one can discover number of examples all around. And, if somebody fails to gather enough evidence of the statements out here, please free to contact me, will ‘substantiate’.
Avoiding marriage is Escapism- The counter
An unconscious (spiritual state) well wisher of mine told my mom that
“Avoiding marriage is Escapism! And lack of courage to face the consequences”
A little intelligent person avoids root cause of the troubles, rather than falling in
to it, and then fighting it out. Some people would learn by other’s mistakes, some people learn from own mistakes, some are not interested in learning at all it seems; I do, respect the ‘suchness’ of others until it affects my ‘suchness’, and am ready to move as far as possible to protect that ‘suchness’ of one’s unique individuality. “Face the consequences”??? – The statement also says experience is not that great. Now getting into the problem, and then fighting it out. Avoid it! Now, every small proble
m is vaccination to a bigger problem, but in most of cases with respect to the marriage thing, don’t see this as a vaccine, because it kills the freedom at-least of one individual. Tied with legal bounds, it took almost 10 years for a relative mine to get a divorce. If people don’t have problems then courts would not function, lawyers, priests politicians and nations, feed on problems. Happy people don’t go to churches and temples, only the miserable do. So design of society is such, to create problem in most subtle way; and, ‘broad-analytical-liberal-unbiased’ thoughts are essential to understand those subtle ways.
Oldies V/s Newbies
Mom counters “The problems and your observations are o
f the older generations, which didn’t have the freedom, and liberty this generation is having, these days of social advancement, so it is not fair comparison”
Oh then, it is not fair either, because next generation is just got started and I have only an external observation. This methodology has been one of the problems with comparison, when we compare, we would compare only the external factors of the other party but comparison is done with ‘internal and external’ factors of oneself. Also, indirectly she has admitted the earlier setup was not working as desired and lay hope on the incremental evolution of socialization. Hope! What else one can do?
Advance thinking: Live-in’s
My personal preference is to be a little more advanced, ‘if necessary’, that is ‘live-ins’ which now legal in Ma
harastra. Now, if the love has expired after some time, the separation becomes easier. From my experience it doesn’t take much time, for the reversal of the energies, a friend can be an enemy and vice versa in no time. That dual nature is the beauty of such energies which exist in tension, oscillating between the two extremes. If we involve the ‘mind’ in the energies such as love, hate side of duality is bound to happen. If one can transcend the mind, the
n non dual, unconditional love has a chance. Krishna terms it as ‘Advait’: non dual nature, which would come as a result of ‘no-mind’. Huh! out of track, and where we?? ‘advanced’. Yeah my mom ignores, and goes on a silent mode when something goes out of the cultural social conditioning. Yeah, if you are talking about advancement, would like to be- at least couple of steps ahead. Then mom again starts- how liberal she is, and has been a support to my cousins to socialize and know each other better before getting married, did not work though; all are trying to postpone it as much as possible. Blah-Blah-Blah Blah-Blah-Blah continues, but mom couldn’t have an eye contact with my eye for more that 3 sec at a go, continuous eye shifting gesture towards my upper right corner.
Who is happy with the marriage?
After a while, of Blah-Blah-Blah not so logical ones, pulling the trigger, my next question
“Please could you point out an example in family, who is happy with the marriage??”
Leaving all the relatives with whom I had a close chance to study, pointed out some- distant relative as an example.
I had to filter my question “I have to stay at least a month with those people to know the exact situation”.
Again, the comparison is external v/s (internal + external). And- again, no-one else that I know, enjoying family life. Indirectly, I have got the answer. Yeah, but people may be happy, when it comes to ‘why to live’, sacrifice for kids and things like that, but personal growth and freedom. Will elaborate, this topic in detail later.
Self-Goal
Then mom dutifully “As a mom have some duties, jus
t doing that”, “You should not be saying that we did not take initiatives”
At ho
me - Around evening time - Around the transparent dinning table - On the cast iron purple Cushion chair - Muting the TVMom Inquisitively “Shall we go have a bride hunting ceremony?”
I said lazily “Naah!!!! Not interested”
I suddenly, spiking up the enthu “But, if you are so bored, and need a time pass, OK”
[TIP: Women have compassion for women, utilize, exploit- use this as a technique: ‘time pass’, sounds like going for some window shopping] btw in ‘Reality’, time pass not encouraged!!! Kind of subtle insult.
Anyways, since then, no such request, an effective single dose medicine.
Basics
As far as my understanding goes today, we can avoid 80% of the problems and
responsibilities, if we don’t get ‘tied up’ legally by marriage. Though done with good intention, marriage has turned out to be one of the ugliest traps of the society to destroy the 'unique individuality' of a being. It is not a thing for crazy-free-souls. To start with, why should we get married with legal securities?? It just signifies doubt, rather than trust
, from the very beginning, for some it might be helplessness, for some culture conditioning, or fear of being alone, or hoping to find happiness through someone, rationalizations can just go on. Or maybe it’s security; if the so called love fades away, then sacrifices for 101 reasons and drag it forward. Have enough real life examples within and without, since it is not a good thing to discuss somebody’s private matters openly and confidentiality factor, not elaborating on it, and one can discover number of examples all around. And, if somebody fails to gather enough evidence of the statements out here, please free to contact me, will ‘substantiate’.Avoiding marriage is Escapism- The counter
An unconscious (spiritual state) well wisher of mine told my mom that
“Avoiding marriage is Escapism! And lack of courage to face the consequences”
A little intelligent person avoids root cause of the troubles, rather than falling in
to it, and then fighting it out. Some people would learn by other’s mistakes, some people learn from own mistakes, some are not interested in learning at all it seems; I do, respect the ‘suchness’ of others until it affects my ‘suchness’, and am ready to move as far as possible to protect that ‘suchness’ of one’s unique individuality. “Face the consequences”??? – The statement also says experience is not that great. Now getting into the problem, and then fighting it out. Avoid it! Now, every small proble
m is vaccination to a bigger problem, but in most of cases with respect to the marriage thing, don’t see this as a vaccine, because it kills the freedom at-least of one individual. Tied with legal bounds, it took almost 10 years for a relative mine to get a divorce. If people don’t have problems then courts would not function, lawyers, priests politicians and nations, feed on problems. Happy people don’t go to churches and temples, only the miserable do. So design of society is such, to create problem in most subtle way; and, ‘broad-analytical-liberal-unbiased’ thoughts are essential to understand those subtle ways.Oldies V/s Newbies
Mom counters “The problems and your observations are o
f the older generations, which didn’t have the freedom, and liberty this generation is having, these days of social advancement, so it is not fair comparison”Oh then, it is not fair either, because next generation is just got started and I have only an external observation. This methodology has been one of the problems with comparison, when we compare, we would compare only the external factors of the other party but comparison is done with ‘internal and external’ factors of oneself. Also, indirectly she has admitted the earlier setup was not working as desired and lay hope on the incremental evolution of socialization. Hope! What else one can do?
Advance thinking: Live-in’s
My personal preference is to be a little more advanced, ‘if necessary’, that is ‘live-ins’ which now legal in Ma
harastra. Now, if the love has expired after some time, the separation becomes easier. From my experience it doesn’t take much time, for the reversal of the energies, a friend can be an enemy and vice versa in no time. That dual nature is the beauty of such energies which exist in tension, oscillating between the two extremes. If we involve the ‘mind’ in the energies such as love, hate side of duality is bound to happen. If one can transcend the mind, the
n non dual, unconditional love has a chance. Krishna terms it as ‘Advait’: non dual nature, which would come as a result of ‘no-mind’. Huh! out of track, and where we?? ‘advanced’. Yeah my mom ignores, and goes on a silent mode when something goes out of the cultural social conditioning. Yeah, if you are talking about advancement, would like to be- at least couple of steps ahead. Then mom again starts- how liberal she is, and has been a support to my cousins to socialize and know each other better before getting married, did not work though; all are trying to postpone it as much as possible. Blah-Blah-Blah Blah-Blah-Blah continues, but mom couldn’t have an eye contact with my eye for more that 3 sec at a go, continuous eye shifting gesture towards my upper right corner.Who is happy with the marriage?
After a while, of Blah-Blah-Blah not so logical ones, pulling the trigger, my next question
“Please could you point out an example in family, who is happy with the marriage??”
Leaving all the relatives with whom I had a close chance to study, pointed out some- distant relative as an example.
I had to filter my question “I have to stay at least a month with those people to know the exact situation”.Again, the comparison is external v/s (internal + external). And- again, no-one else that I know, enjoying family life. Indirectly, I have got the answer. Yeah, but people may be happy, when it comes to ‘why to live’, sacrifice for kids and things like that, but personal growth and freedom. Will elaborate, this topic in detail later.
Self-Goal
Then mom dutifully “As a mom have some duties, jus
t doing that”, “You should not be saying that we did not take initiatives” Also, takes a recent hot example, of my preference to shave my head and being a veggie, which was discouraged in childhood. Had to point out that there was no much difference, trying to impose something that I didn’t like it before, and again now, the history is trying to be repeated. A moment of silence.... that happens often, when I score a goal, this time with my mom’s defense statement itself, self goal.
Coming up next… Subtle Dishum! Bishum! with grandma
